The Troll

I haven't been writing lately because I've made myself too busy -- sort of a "shop till you drop mentality" only I'm not shopping -- just getting out of the house.  If I keep myself busy I don't think; if I make myself tired I  fall asleep soon after I get home.  Everything is fine until the shit hits the fan -- again and again and again.

This past weekend I had a lovely Saturday touring the Apollo Theater on 125th St in NYC with the Museums and Cultural Events meetup group.  I really like this group because it is NOT specifically a singles group.  Some members are single; some are married but have spouses who don't enjoy doing this sort of thing; and some could even be couples -- whatever!  My friend Jane joined the group too even though she is married to Joe.  But Joe works on Saturdays and prefers not spending his free time visiting museums.  So Jane joined me on the Apollo tour.  After the tour the group went to a  soul-food restaurant on 116.  The food was okay but really plentiful -- I had enough to bring home for supper.

On Sunday I went to the home of a woman, Leigh, who I met at the Clifton Jewish Center singles group.  She is a lovely person, a sign language interpreter by trade.  A friend of hers, Wendy, was there too -- also divorced but I don't know if she belongs to any of the meetups.  We were supposed to eat dinner and watch a DVD but Leigh had trouble turning on the DVD player so we wound up talking.  I told them my story, and they told me I was a fool for thinking that David didn't leave me for someone else.  "No man just up and leaves unless he has something waiting for him".  And that's what started all the trouble.

Enough people -- well almost everyone -- has said the  same thing and it has really started to bother me big time.  Some when David was here on Monday, I asked him outright.  Smack!  Slam!  He is seeing his head nurse.  Claims that they only started seeing each other after we split -- but I no longer believe a word he tells me.  Two weeks before that he swore he wasn't seeing anyone yet -- but would look into it in the future.  Now he hasn't just started seeing her.  He is seeing her exclusively.  Believe what you want.

The worst part is that she looks like a troll - not bitterness speaking; she really looks like a troll.  Short (way shorter than me and I'm barely 5'2"), stocky, about my age (maybe 5 years younger at best), not at all good looking, loud, obnoxious, and blond hair down to her knees.  A true troll.  Good lord, he left me for a TROLL!  Is he out of his mind?

This woman was my "best friend" at the past few office Xmas parties; she stayed at my side at the three office weddings we were invited to; and constantly asked me to share cake recipes with her.  What a bitch.  I hope she bakes him one of those cakes and they both choke on it.

So the past couple of days have been a real BIG set back.  I am disappointed at the people I am meeting through meetups.  I only met one guy through POF.com and was not at all happy with him.  No one else seems to have any interest.  Not sure I want to join the paid sites like J-date or Match.com yet -- will I get any better results?  Should I lie about my age to attract men who actually are my age (I could easily shave off 5 to 8 years) -- but what will happen if I met someone I actually like and have to tell him the truth?  How else does one go about meeting someone?  The people in the Volunteer office at the hospital are all 110 years old and mostly women anyway.  I have no interaction whatsoever with any doctors.  The ceramics class is a bust -- not at all happy with it.  My friends know no one to introduce me to.  So right now I am in a funk.  Where do I go from here?  What do I do with the rest of my life.  And why is HE dating a TROLL?

Why is it Getting Harder to Find Time to Write?

Why is it getting harder and harder to write this blog?  Maybe because I really have nothing new to say. 

Dating is turning into a royal pain in the butt.  I've been contacting (with a message or a wink) mainly Jewish men who are between 60 and 72 and have a graduate degree.  It really helps if their interests coincide with mine.  Only a few have responded.  Most communications fizzle after one or two back and forths.  A few who are interested (and somewhat interesting) write for a bit and then say that we live too far apart.  The man I met for lunch last week wrote back -- but he is older than I want (in reality, though not in the age he lists on the site) and we have nothing in common -- so I told him that I didn't want to pursue our "relationship".  And, the ones who are contacting me seem like such losers: high school educated, live somewhere not at all near me, and share absolutely no common interests -- so why are they contacting me in the first place.

Cyndee, a woman I met at one of the meetups and then had dinner with a couple of weeks back, says I should invest in one of the pay dating sites because the quality of men is better.  I just don't know if I am ready yet.  This is depressing -- especially since I am not thrilled with the group meetups either.  I am not and have never been a person who walks into a room full of strangers and is able to network.  I hate cocktail parties -- absolutely want to fade into the wallpaper when I am at one.  And now the lack of this socialization skill is coming back to haunt me.

Maybe I should say chuck it and sign up for J-date or Match.com.  But I don't feel ready.  Why pay to be on a site if I am not going make an attempt.  I don't know!

Help me, help me, help me!