Two years ago when my husband David first left I was both despondent and delusional. My safe and comfortable existence suddenly evaporated around me. Since he had never complained about our relationship, I was certain that there was no real problem and that he was going through a delayed mid-life crisis. I was so sure that he would quickly see the error of his ways and come home begging to be forgiven -- and I was so ready to forgive, forget, and move on with things. But he didn't come back, and he didn't beg to be forgiven, and he didn't ask to be taken back.
Instead I found out about the other woman - Joann, the troll-whore head nurse in the office where he was medical director -- the one who always asked me to share my recipes with her and insisted on sitting next to me at office parties and special occasions -- the one I thought was my friend. Twice divorced and after losing one boyfriend after another, she apparently set her sites on my husband -- and he apparently was a very willing participant. Within a month after David left, he freely admitted to be dating her exclusively -- although he insisted that he had only started seeing her after he left me. Really?!?!? One month of casual dating and they were already exclusive? He was still married to me and going through the charade of attempting to reconcile at that time. A couple of months after that, they were already openly living together. Hindsight is 20-20. He never gave anyone including his children the address of the furnished apartment where he moved when he left home -- most likely because that apartment was the troll's and it was furnished with her belongings. Then, about a year ago, he asked for (actually insisted on) a divorce so that HE could have closure!
I have spent the last two years trying to move on. Definitely not as easy as I thought it would be. I haven't been comfortable with any man I've met through dating sites. At my age (although I don't look it, I don't lie) there hasn't been much interest. The few who have shown an interest have been either sick or looking for someone to take care of them financially. I have met a large number of single women in my age range and have made so many good women friends -- but it would be really nice to get a little bit of attention from the opposite sex. At least a nice man who whom I could share a nice conversation on a Saturday night.
I tried to sell my house but made the huge mistake of hiring a friend who only does real estate part time and does not work in this area. The house sold immediately but that deal fell through within weeks. My realtor did not know how to deal with the demographics of those purchasing in my area, said all the wrong things, and lost the deal instead of negotiating a final settlement. After that, the house sat for a couple of month's with very little interest. So I decided to take the house off the market for now, redo the back yard, put the house back on the market next spring with a different realtor. In the meantime, I am making the attempt to refinance the mortgage getting David's name off of it and getting a much lower interest rate. Only problem I may face is due to David being 65. He is capable of retiring at 67 - and if he does, alimony stops. But if I am denied, the letter of denial would work in my favor this coming April. The divorce decree gives me one year to refinance or make the attempt to sell. I am planning on putting the house back on the market by the beginning or March. He can't force me out or make me take a low price if I am already showing due diligence. It will sell when it sells -- hopefully at a good price for me.
I really do want to relocate to Lake Ashton, Florida. Loved the community when I went to visit my daughter's in-laws this past March. It's a very active 55+ gated community of lovely newer private homes situated on two golf courses. When I visited it felt like being in camp. I truly believe that I can restart my life there, pursue a lot of interests and hobbies (ceramics, bridge, theater, books, exercise), learn some new stuff (golf, tennis), and meet someone in an appropriate age range while pursuing these interests. At this point my dream of Florida is not dead -- it's just delayed.
