I Am Starting to Hate Men

Argh!  I hate men!!!

The guy who I was supposed to meet for drinks last Friday (the one who canceled saying that there was a family illness) emailed me back on Sunday morning saying that things had resolved and asking if I was still interested in meeting him.  I was at a Divorce Support Meetup in Metuchen when I got the email so I wrote back that I would be home later that day and could meet him that evening.

We met at Thatcher McGhee’s in Denville at 4:00 and had a great conversation over drinks despite it being an extremely noisy sports bar.  He then asked me to have dinner with him and I agreed – but then he said he had to go home and feed his puppy.  Asked if I would follow him and wait in my car for him to take care of the dog so we could proceed to dinner – again I agreed.  Everything was fine until he finished taking care of his dog.  By then the weather had changed and he decided it would be better if he ordered in pizza and we ate at his house.  Whoa -- not exactly my idea of a great meal; nor did I want to spend the evening at his house after just meeting him.  Said I would rather return to Denville (which is halfway between us) and eat in any restaurant – at least I’d be closer to home and have less driving in the worsening weather.  He kept on pressuring me to come in at get cozy, but I really wasn’t comfortable.  He then hugged me and I started wondering if I was going to have to knee him to make him let go.  Finally pushed him away and told him I had just met him and don’t do this after an hour.   He thought about it for a second and said that it might be best if we did dinner another time because he was getting concerned about my driving home alone on icy roads.  He even asked me to text him when I got home, which I did.  He responded telling me to sleep well.

Not a terrible start despite a little bit of pressure.  I expected to hear from him the next day so we could reschedule, but not a word.  Nor did I hear from him on Tuesday.  Told my daughter the story and told her that although I really enjoyed the conversation while we were at the bar, I really didn’t like the pressure and now didn’t think he was going to call back.  She told me I was being too paranoid and pessimistic and also said that I should have stayed and had pizza with him if I liked him.

So I thought about it.  Am I too old fashioned?  Late this afternoon wrote him a casual email saying that I have been out of the dating scene for a long time and didn’t know what to expect and I asked him if he wanted to meet again.  So what does this ASSHOLE do?  He writes back that I am not emotional available and that newly separated people often get into rebound relationships.  He says that he is looking for long term – and I am obviously not ready which was made evident to him because I attended a divorce support group.  Then to top things off, he tells me that I could either plead my case to him so as to change his mind or we could be friends with benefits. 

SERIOUSLY?  I was so pissed that I sent him an email telling him off.  Told him that

1. I was not going to plead my case to him and that he had no idea what a divorce support group was.
2. he has been divorced for 10 years and was only married for about 10 -15 years.  I was married for 42 years.  What gave him the right to lecture me about lasting and long term?  And why hadn’t he already found a perfect relationship after 10 years?
3. even if I had already been divorced 10 years, I wouldn’t have jumped into bed with him after meeting him for less than 1 hour and not even knowing his last name  – that is not me
4. I had enough friends and didn’t need or want his friendship.

Please tell me that it gets better than this!!!!!