There's Nothing Like Alone for the Holidays

The last guy I met on POF (the one who decided that pizza dinner at his house after a 45 minute conversation was appropriate) never called or wrote back.  I have messaged other men on POF but they have either not contacted me or briefly written back only to have the conversation fizzle before I even met them.  One guy wrote to me after a month of silence -- said he wished me as happy a holiday as I could have given my situation.  I wrote back wishing him a happy holiday too and asking if he wanted to meet for a drink.  No response - guess I'll have to wait another month.

I am so sick and tired of the men on POF -- I am really not finding anyone new and interesting.  And since I really don't like being alone for the holidays, I am almost tempted to write back to pizza guy and ask for a do over!  Man I must be desperate!

I decided to sign up for Match.com right after the New Year.  I've been advised that the men on paid sites take things much more seriously than the men on free sites.  I wrote up a brand new profile and had my friend Alyse (a semi-pro photographer) take photos of me yesterday (some even came out okay).  Guess I should sign up today, but I am so nervous about being rejected or getting no responses.  I'm psyching myself to sign up January 1, 2014.  Six months for ~$100 is not terrible - I guess.


Now here is a new issue.  When David first left, my friends were uber-supportive: called and emailed constantly; dropped things to have lunch and dinner with me; called him an asshole even when I was still defending him.  But when it came to introducing me to men, Jill and Michele (my best friends) said they knew no one and that I would have to make new friends who were in my position.  Well, friends are calling and emailing less often (can understand this); lunches and dinner are occurring less frequently (sort of get this); and calling him names has lessened. 

I know that Harvey (of Jill and Harvey) and Marc (of Michele and Marc) have met David for dinner on several Wednesday nights -- this doesn't bother me except that my friends seem to be hiding this rather than letting me know (may be I can condone this).  When I asked Michele to do lunch on Christmas Eve day (knew she wasn't working) she told me that it wasn't a good time because Marc was home.  Not to join her and Marc for lunch - just can't do it cause Marc is around.  Then yesterday night, I sign onto Facebook and see on my news-feed that Jill and David are now "friends".  Are you kidding me?!?!  I know Jill uses David as a doctor but they were never friends -- he never called her and they never did anything together if I wasn't involved and hadn't planned it.  Jill was my friend and he was "husband-of-friend".  I am so pissed. 

I messaged Jill saying, "He dumps me for his whore troll nurse; lies about it to everyone; and still doesn't want his office staff to know we are separated, let alone that he is seeing her.  And you become his Facebook buddy?  Seriously?". 

She wrote back this morning "Connie seriously believe it.  He's my doctor and I wanted to know what was happening just in case I need to change.  This is not about his love life ...Really".

I wrote back "I fully understand that you have a professional relationship - but he is not using Facebook professionally.  I can even understand Harvey having more than a professional relationship with him.  Do whatever you feel comfortable doing."  And she answers "Thanks".  Does she think I am saying go ahead and be his friend, I don't mind.  She's as crazy as he always said she was. 

I'm not sure that I am talking to Jill any more.  She's the one who told me to rent a movie when I was upset that I would be sitting home alone for New Year's Eve.  When I told my not so close friend Alyse that Jill told me to rent a movie, Alyse insisted that I join her and her husband for New Year's eve no matter what they are doing so I won't be alone.  It is becoming more and more obvious that I have chosen very sucky people to be closest to me over the years.