Back From Class

I was away in Allentown PA at a two day cake decorating class with Kaysie Lackey at Mother of Cakes.  Spent the time making "Nigel the Nightowl" but had to complete him at home because there just wasn't enough time - which is strange since class ran without a break from 10:00 AM to 7:00 PM on Thursday and 9:00 AM to lord know when on Friday (I left at 8:30 PM because I still had an hour-and-a-half to hour-and-three-quarters drive home and I was exhausted).

Nigel traveled well - some of the braiding around his eyes, his beak, and his nose fell off but I was able to re-glue those  yesterday.  Attached the leaves to the trees and decorated the base this morning. Voila - four cakes balanced on a limb in the form of an owl.

It was really nice being able to get away and be with other people doing something I enjoy.  Only cracked up once:  my fondant tore while I was covering the body.  Suddenly I felt like a complete failure and I started to cry.  Both Kaysie (the instructor) and Tanveer (the school owner) knew what was going on and were very nice and helpful.  When I took my last class with Kaysie in December, her husband had just left her  so she really knows where I am at.

Being away and spending time alone without having to take care of dogs or grandchildren allowed me to think.  I can't believe how much I have been suppressing.  David was awful to me our first year of marriage.  I am now sure that he resented my taking away his independence when I moved into his apartment when we first got married.  He had lived there alone for a year prior to our getting married -- got the apartment when he first started Medical School.  He ignored me and did what he wanted when  he wanted to do it.  I couldn't leave because I didn't want to go home and live with my parents (which would have been my only choice) so I would up having an affair with someone I didn't particularly like but who paid attention to me.  Sadly I don't even remember the person..  Looks like I've always been self-destructive when I am trying to get someone's attention.  But that is not who I wanted to be, so I decided to accept David for who he is and live with it.  Big mistake.  Guess I was never happy and sadly neither was he. 

Got to go feed the dogs and pay some attention to them.  Tonight I am sitting for Sabrina so Jessica and Mike can go out to dinner.  Good grandma!