A Different Kind of Friday

For the past three years almost every Friday has been centered around Natalie -- and David has always been here to participate in the fun.  However, Natalie and Caroline went to Caroline's mom's house in MD yesterday for a long last weekend before school starts on September 9.  David has a business trip to PA today and most likely would have not come even if he were free since Natalie is not here.  So for the first Friday in ages, I am alone to do nothing by myself.

I went over to Josh's yesterday evening to spend the evening with Ann (Josh's MIL), Emma (Jacob's Aux Pair), and Jacob.  Josh and Lauren are in Bermuda for the holiday weekend to celebrate Josh's birthday.  I would have liked to talk a little more to Ann privately, but feel a little uncomfortable speaking in front of 19 year old Emma.  We did get a chance to have a little privacy  but I was uncomfortable because I am sensing a hostility toward David in her.  I am not at all sure why this bothers me, but it does.  Why am  I still loyal to and protective of him when he doesn't care how much he has hurt me?  Am I still hoping for a reconciliation?  I now doubt that will ever come to pass.  We are supposedly having dinner alone next Saturday -- our "date" -- but I am starting to question why either one of us is doing this.  If there is no hope of ever getting back together then we really need to move on.

I did the bills by myself this morning and I am hoping that I didn't screw things up.  Oh well, nothing other than my marriage is unfixable.  I paid the bills I think need to be paid now, put aside the ones I think can be paid next week, wrote checks, addressed and stamped envelopes, and filed receipts.  I can do this.  Even changed a light bulb in my office on my own yesterday.  So grown up!

Am going out to dinner with Dan tonight to Roots, a steak restaurant in Morristown.  Know that I will have to pick up the check -- but I will really enjoy the company.  As for now, I need to shower and get dressed then go out and buy a standing picture frame.  My day is set.