Family and Extended Family

What would I do without my family and extended family?  My niece and nephew have been wonderful.  They are my brother's children.  David's sister and brothers, who I have known almost as long as I have known David, have not called and none of their children have reached out either.  So it seems that with respect to them an aunt is an aunt and a sister-in-law is a sister-in-law until her husband dumps her.  But my brother's children have been wonderful and I am going to Brooklyn to visit with them today.  Dan, Caroline, and Natalie are coming too so I won't have to drive all the way on my own.

David was here yesterday.  Why is it that I can hold myself together (for the most part) when he is not here but I completely fall apart when he is here?  Not good, not good, not good!  My heart hurts when he reacts to me in such a cold and uncaring manner.  If he has been miserable for years like he claims, how was he able to act concerned just a few weeks ago and how has he been able to suddenly turn all feelings off?  Do I want him back?  I'm no longer sure.  Do I want him to want to come back?  Absolutely.  It is so degrading to be dumped!  So why does he come here on Fridays -- to see Natalie who is here that day.  We'll see what happens when her schedule and his schedule changes next month.

Went out to dinner with Dan and Natalie and enjoyed our time together.  But the dinner turns out to be expensive since Dan doesn't pay any part of the check.  Guess I shouldn't complain.  David is still paying the bills and hopefully won't question the receipt.  But had I known that Caroline wasn't making dinner, I would have cooked something at home rather than go the restaurant route.  We'll see next week.

Tried to call back the Livingston Barnes and Nobles but the message on my answering machine had been garbled and the name of the person leaving the message was unclear.  Not sure I want to travel all the way into Livingston for part-time work.  Maybe I'll wait until Monday before calling back again.  Part of me is hoping that the Morris Plains Barnes and Nobles calls since it is 5 minutes from here and part of me is now leaning to doing volunteer work that will allow me to make my own schedule.  I am getting advise from some people to find part-time work and from others to avoid getting a paying job (no matter how low the pay) at all costs.  Nothing like adamant yet conflicting advice.

Now I am going to pull a Scarlet O'Hara and say that I am not going to think about this today because tomorrow is always another day.  Today I'll concentrate on my family and extended family!