Another Day

Today is not as awful as yesterday.

Michele came over yesterday afternoon after visiting with a cousin who lives around the corner from me.  She didn't invite me over to share part of this weekend; didn't even say what she was doing; but she was there for me yesterday.  I was able to cry and complain and have a little bit of human contact before picking up Sabrina at daycare and heading over to Jessica's house for the evening.

Going over to Jessica's was nice.  I brought some small steaks that Mike grilled, a few russet potatoes that we nuked and then finished on the grill, and a vegetable dish ready to nuke and serve.  Even though Dan and Natalie came over at the last minute and wound up eating with us, there was really enough food to go around -- no one left the table hungry.

Mike finished redoing his resume yesterday and forwarded a copy to me which I in turn forwarded to Michele's husband Marc.  Mike also sent out a number of resumes to other sources of his own.  I hope he finds work quickly -- this is so not good for him.  Jessica doesn't make enough money for her to be the sole income and allow Mike to stay home as a house-husband.  I also think that it will be a lot better for Mike's peace of mind to have something to do every day.

Natalie slept over last night because Caroline had a very early appointment at work today. This is the first time since David and I separated and she was told that he moved into an apartment of his own to be near work that Natalie has stayed here.  She crawled into bed with me this morning and I put on the TV for her so that I could get a little extra sleep.  It was so nice to feel another human being in bed with me.  And she is not asking questions so I don't have to talk about the fact that David is not here.

This afternoon she and I will go to Josh's to play with Jacob.  David will be there too -- maybe the last time he will be there on a Wednesday since who knows what his new hours will be once he starts his new job next week.  Please God, help me NOT to cry.  My eyes and face are still so swollen that I can hardly recognize my own features.  This has got to stop!  He has already told me that he is not planning on coming back -- I need to move on even if part of that means that I will wind up hating him.  I hate myself when I am so weak.  Please dry up my tears and don't let me cry!  Not in front of him anyway.

Got to go and get into the shower, get dressed, and go out on pick up a birthday cake for Josh.  His birthday is this coming Saturday, but he will be away.  We'll celebrate today.